No, This is Despair
by togiri
Summary: Patrick Star, a normal sea star who walks into hope's peak academy only ending up to fall into despair while watching all his new friends die... but wait - are they new? read to find out... CRACK FANFIC! THIS IS A CRACK FANFIC! TERRIBLY OOC ( i think idk I don't watch spongebob everday of my life lmao )
1. Welcome to Despair Academy

**i **

* * *

Patrick Star was just a normal starfish, with a normal life under the sea.

He lived under a rock, today was the day he would be attending Hope's Peak Academy.

Patrick the star was very nervous, he was confused why he was chosen. Why? His grades weren't very good, and his talent wasn't the _greatest_ talent...

"Super High School Level Bubble Blower, huh?" Patrick said, putting on his green shorts with purple flowers on them. His rock began to open, revealing the outside world. Patrick, with a nervous smile walked over to Squidward's house. "Hey Squidward!" Patrick smiled, in his normally loud and happy voice. Squidward mumbled as he got opened the front door. "What.." Squidward said, in a rather complaining and angry tone. "Let's walk to school together! We're going to Hope's Peak Academy today! Remember?" Patrick cheered. Squidward slamed the door. **wow rude.**

Patrick sighed, but then his friend, Super High School Level jelly fisher caME and he smiled, "Patrick!" Spongebob smiled. Hell yes. Patrick waved back with a hella rad smile plastered on his face. "Want to walk to school together, spongebob-san?" Patrick giggled, and spongebob nodded.

They had no idea what was in store for them... hell no they didn't.

* * *

"Woah... It's huge." Patrick gaped, as he stared at the building in front of them.

"I know... Is this the right school?" Spongebob questioned, his eyes wandering across the building.

"I don't know... Let's go in." Patrick said, and they began to walk. Suddenly, Patrick began to feel really tired.

"Spongebob... I don't feel so good..." Patrick complained, he looked at Spongebob and he looked as if he was about to pass out.

"Hey..." Spongebob started, but then he didn't finish. Patrick couldn't hear what Spongebob said after that, they both blacked out.

**** Prolouge: Welcome to Despair Academy! ****

"Hey.. Where am I?" Patrick looked around. He got up, and his eyes wandered across the room. No windows. Pitch black... It's so dark in here.. Woah.

He then found a desk wich had a note on it.

"_Dear Patrick Star,_

_Welcome to Despa- Hope's Peak Academy, Super High School Level Bubble Blower!_

_You have just enrolled here, and we would like to say, welcome, you bastard!_

_- -o-_

_From m-t-i"_

"Huh... That's... It's way to blurred to see..." Patrick mumbled, but he stuffed the note in his underpants, for later.

He then began to wander about and explore. Then he opened a door, and was greeted by many faces.

Everyone there stopped talking, and then began to notice Patrick star, who opened the door with many noises being made.

"Hey there! I'm Cl- Uh... I mean I'm Sh- oh sorry... I'm Plankton! Super High School Level Chum Maker, sweet to meet you." The plankton that revealed himself named... Plankton? wow hat a lame name for a plankton.

"Yo" Patrick stated, and then a whale came by and waved.

"Hi! I'm Pearl, nice to meet you. I'm Super High School Level Cheerleader. What up girlfriend?" The whale - Pearl greeted.

"Oh hai gurl." Patrick grooved, trying to fit in.

"Hey I'm Yellowtail, some people call me Health inspector Yellowtail... I'm Super High School Level Health Inspector..." The shy fish Yellowtail mumbled.

'Hmm... wait...' Patrick thought, but his thoughts were interrupted.

"Hi I'm Spongebob! Super High School Level Fast Food Chef! *annoying laughter here*" Spongebob giggled.

"Hi Spongebob." Patrick greeted, and suddenly a 'krabby' guy walked by.

"I'm Mr. Krabs, Super High School Level Cheapstake. monemyoneymoneymoneymoney." Krabs greeted, with excitement.

Patrick didn't know what to think of this guy. I mean, did he have any friends -

Suddenly a voice spoke. "I'm Squidward Tenticales, Super High School Level Clarinet Player & I'm surrounded by idiots." - wow this guy, squids said in a rude tone. Rude.

This guy seemed like a loner too.

Suddenly a scream was heard. "GET YER' HANDS OUTTA MY POCKET, NERD!" A rather old man - What the hell is he doing here - screamed.

"$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" Krabs smiled, his eyes gleaming with dollar signs. He was obviously looking for money, in that pocket.

"I'm Old Man Jenkins, Super High School Level Story teller! And I uh, flunked a few grades... lmao." He mumbled.

Suddenly a squirrel in a suit walked by, "I'm Sandy Cheeks, call me sandy please. Super High School Level Scientist, at your service, nerds." Sandy told them all lmao.

Patrick then noticed a girl, and the girl looked at him angrily. "What, I'm Nancy O'Malley, And I don't know my Super High School Level! Go away..." She mumbled.

The suddenly, a Snail walked up stage. "Alright, Listen Up!" The Snail shouted.

* * *

**time to play what happens next.**

**this is a crack fic. i wrote this in like 15 minutes.**

**read & review or get nerd slapped... provided by me...**

**lmao...**


	2. Sheldon J Plankton

the **part 2**

* * *

The Snail who slid up stage, didn't notice it was being ignored and everyone was still talking wondering when classes would start, and other pointless things. This angered the snail, so the snail shouted, "LISTEN UP YOU BASTARDS!" The snail shouted with anger.

Suddenly, everyone turned their heads towards the snail, and the snail had an evil grin plastered on his face which lasted for a few short seconds.

"Alright everyone, I'm Gary the snail, furthermore, your headmaster! I welcome you all to your school life of mutual killing!" Gary greeted with glee. Everyone said thanking, but then a few paused.

Patrick raised his hand, and Gary glared, "What?" Gary questioned with a rude tone.

"Uh... What do you mean by 'School life of mutual killing?" Patrick said, with a confused tone.

Killing..

"Oh, of course, I guess I should explain. You basically are trapped into this school, until a chosen few remain, by chosen few, others kill each other. One student kills another student, then a school trial begins! Meow meow meow, that's not all. You have to guess who kills who, but if you don't guess right, everyone but the killer dies and graduates! It's an all-you-can-kill, kill-or-be-killed, killing-killing-killing-all-around world in this here school!" Gary explained, with much enjoyment. Everyone took a few seconds to let that sink in.

"BWAAAAAHHH AAAAAAH!" Spongebob screamed, and began to cry, tears streaming down his face.

"It's a dream, this is all, such a horrid nightmare!" Spongebob cried, he's face already being drenched in tears. Patrick felt sorry for the guy.

Squidward facepalmed, "Are you serious? This is all some stupid joke. Of course we aren't going to kill each other.. Come on be real man." Squidward pointed out, trying to seem like the smart guy. Gary narrowed his eyes at Squidward.

"I'll have you know, I'm 100% serious." Gary muttered angrily.

"Seriously thought, all these trials, and deaths? Come on, this isn't some really popular japanese video game." Squidward spoke. He did have a point - but boy was he wrong.

Gary was about to speak up, but then Plankton interrupted, "Gosh, all of this darn funny business seems about silly to me! I uh mean, well.. All of this seems like a bunch of lies, and even if it _is _true, there's no way I'm participating in these shenanigans! Would you mind leading me to the door? I'm out of here..." Plankton complain, and in response, Gary glared.

"Well excuse me, _princess_. All the doors are locked, and you wouldn't mind if I, oh I don't know... Refuse to open them?" Gary sassed back, with a glare obvious on his face. Plankton walked up to Gary, and punched his shell, "An order's an order!" Plankton demanded, his arms now crossed. Gary's eyes turned red, and then he stared at him,

"You shouldn't have done that... Meow..." Gary mumbled, and then suddenly, everyone gasped as the room's lighting started to suck, and then lights turned off and off. But they turned back on for a few seconds. Suddenly, Gary exploded, and it indeed ended the short life... of Sheldon J. Plankton.

"Holy sea cucumbers!" Spongebob gasped, and squidward still looked like he was surrounded by idiots.

"U gotta be crappin me..." Squidward said, with a sigh.

Everyone looked like they had just seen a snail kill a plankton... Because you know, that's kind of true?

"Well you guys, I'm going to my office for a bit... In the mean time, get to that killing!" Gary growled at them, and they all just stood there before waddling around.


End file.
